Dear Mother and Father,
Tonight, I am leaving the community and I will never return. I know it is absurd to do such a thing but I too have my reasons. It has been a pleasure to be a part of the family unit that both of you have established many years ago but I can not live here any longer after being The Receiver for quite a while and learning the truth behind this safe community.
Yes, the truth. To you, this is just the safe, amazing community anyone would be lucky to live in. But during my training to become the next receiver - this is a prison, with no feelings and no pain. Life, here, is completely dull, after finding out the truth. The Receiver is the only one I can trust truthfully, ever since I watched you, father, do a release 'ceremony' on a poor and innocent newborn.
In my training, I had learned of many amazing things that don't exist here. Being The Receiver, I receive memories with true pain, more tremendous then a simple scrape on the knee. Then, I learned about dancing, singing, jokes, lying, color, what life was like before this controlled community existed. Back then, you could choose your spouse! Create your own children if possible! Feel. There was this terrific memory The Receiver had given to me. It was with true love in it unlike what exists in our family unit - as you like to all it 'enjoying.' Love is the opposite of obsolete and the way it feels.. I can not describe. The memory had been of a real family that is blood related were all in a room. They were sitting on couches, opening gift boxes that were wrapped and the atmosphere was full of love. The way everyone was smiling at each other and the coziness of it all especially with the warmth of the fire. *Pgs 122-123* These memories motivated me to want to figure out and find if this still existed. Elsewhere. There are other communities and this community that we know are controlled like ours, or as we say 'perfect', but elsewhere? Who knows, there could be color there! Or real happiness which none of the community have ever experienced except for The Receiver and I.
But then, the sadness of the memories. I had to learn of other things that existed that were not always happy. There are two main types of pain - physically and emotionally. I had taken a memory of going down on a slope and breaking my leg on an object called a 'sled.' It had hurt much, blood was everywhere and I couldn't move. Then there's emotional pain - my least favorite type of memories. I had received a memory with extreme pain in it - a battlefield. I watching the scene as innocent people died. A dirty, bleeding boy had crawled to me, begging for water and after he had taken his drink of water, his eyes rolled back as he died before my eyes. There were no tears as I watched the scene before me for hours until I couldn't take it anymore and shook myself out of it. *Pgs 119-120*
Finaly, after discovering why the community is so controlled - it was true, the wanting to live elsewhere bothered me. If I want my life, I'll live it how I want it to be without anyone telling me "Marry the young man" or "take that job for money!" The motivation was fueled by the pleasant memories I received and thought about for a long time. Living in elsewhere might be a large risk compared to here but it's a risk that's worth taking. People should be allowed to choose for themselves. Mother, father, what job have you guys wanted to try? In Elsewhere - that might be possible! Then there's the real feelings which just might exist in elsewhere. There's that big chance this might all not exist but it's better to find out then never. My life is mine.
The feelings I feel for the both of you and Lily are infact enjoyment because the feeling of love with our family unit has never once come up - especially to people who find love so obsolete. Father - I understand why you released the baby, though. Why you lie to our faces every night, just being quite joyful about your work - but I understand. Why I have to come home and hide my own assignment secrets for my own family. You do it because you're doing your part to keep this community under control, keeping the population down. For myself, I do it for the safety of the community - none of you would be able to stand the memories. Everyone in the community do their assignments to help run the community no matter if you have to lie or not - it's all kind of like a game. Everyone does their part. But all your feelings happen to be fake. Lily was not angry and both of you have never been truly happy. Color - wow, color. I have the ability of seeing beyond and objects have this difference to it, like a tint or shade, it just stands out a lot.
While I leave the community, or 'die in the river', my new memories will spread to the rest of the community and The Receiver has stayed behind to help all of the citizens calm and get used to the memories. Eventually, all of you have started learning about the past for the better. If I ever come back or hear of your comunity - it's going to have much more then it does now (color, weather, feelings, pain, music,etc.) I have taken Gabriel with me as he has some memories and he was about to be released - which is quite unfair and the both of us are taking on a new start.
Thank you, mother and father, for raising me but I must leave now that it is time.
Farewell,
Jonas
